How to Deal with Telemarketers and Junk Mail

I got these wonderful tips in the mail today (thanks, you know who you are) and just had to share them.

(1) The three little words: "Hold on, please..."

Saying this while putting down your phone and walking off, instead of hanging up immediately, would make each telemarketing call so much more time-consuming that boiler room sales would grind to a halt.

Then when you eventually hear Telstra's "beep-beep-beep" tone, you know it's time to go back and hang up your handset, which has efficiently completed its task.

These three little words will help eliminate telephone soliciting.

(2) Do you ever get those annoying phone calls with no one on the other end? This is a telemarketing technique where a machine makes phone calls and records the time of day when a person answers the phone. This technique is used to determine the best time of day for a "real" salesperson to call back and get someone at home.

What you can do after answering, if you notice there is no one there, is to immediately start hitting the # button on your phone, 6 or 7 times, as quickly as possible. This confuses the machine that dialled the call and it kicks your number out of their system. Gosh, what a shame not to have your name in their system any longer!

(3) When you get those "pre-approved" letters in the mail for everything from credit cards to second mortgages and similar type junk, do not throw away the return envelope.

Most of these come with postage-prepaid return envelopes, right? It costs them more than the regular 50 cents postage IF and when they get them back.

It costs them nothing if you throw the envelopes away! In that case, why not get rid of some of your other junk mail and put it in these cool little, postage-prepaid return envelopes?

Send an ad for your local chimney cleaner to American Express. Send a pizza coupon to Westpac.

If you didn't get anything else that day, then just send them their blank application back!

If you want to remain anonymous, just make sure your name isn't on anything you send them.

You can even send the envelope back empty if you want to just keep them guessing! It still costs them $1.00.

The banks and credit card companies are currently getting a lot of their own junk back in the mail, but folks, we need to OVERWHELM them.

Let's let them know what it's like to get lots of junk mail, and best of all they're paying for it... Twice!

Let's help keep Australia Post busy too since they're saying that e-mail is cutting into their business profits, and that's why they need to increase postage costs again. You get the idea!

If enough people follow these tips, it will work ---- maybe you'll get very little junk mail.

I guess this advice is tailored to people in Australia (especially the part about hitting the # button on your phone), but there should be something in this for everyone pestered by telemarketing and junk mail.