Friday, 3 October 2008

Clever Signs

We've all read about the funny signs with inadvertent mistakes from around the world. But try these:

At a car lot: The best way to get on your feet....Miss a car payment.

At a tyre repair shop: Invite us to your next blowout.

Outside a muffler shop: No appointment necessary. We heard you coming.

In front of a car wash: If you can't read this, it's time to wash your car.

At a towing company: We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.

At a used car lot: Second-hand cars in first crash condition.

At an auto body shop: May we have the next dents?

On a caravan trailer: I go where I'm towed to.

On a music teacher's door: Out Chopin.

At a music store: Out to lunch. Bach at 12:30. Offenbach sooner.

On the door of a music library: Bach in a min-u-et.

At a pizza shop: 7 days without pizza makes one weak.

On a butcher's window: Let me meat your needs.

Outside a restaurant: Try our fish just for the halibut.

On the menu of a restaurant: Blackened bluefish

Outside a hotel: Help! We need inn-experienced people.

At an optometrist's office: If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.

In a counselor's office: Growing old is mandatory, growing wise is optional.

In a dentist's office: Be true to your teeth or they will be false to you.

In a podiatrist's window: Time wounds all heels.

On a maternity room door: Push. Push. Push.

In a veterinarian’s waiting room: Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!

At the electric company: We would be delighted if you send in your bill. However, if you don't, you will be.

A church sign: To remove worry wrinkles, get your faith lifted.

At a gym: Merry Fitness and a Happy New Rear!

At a beauty parlour: Dye now!

In a farmer’s field: The farmer allows walkers to cross the field for free, but be aware that the bull charges.

In a non-smoking area: If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action.

In a cemetery: Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves.

At a hardware store: Would the person who took the step ladder yesterday kindly bring it back or further steps will be taken.

In the front yard of a funeral home: Drive carefully. We’ll wait.

In the window of an appliance store: Don't kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work.

Inside a bowling alley: Please be quiet. We need to hear a pin drop.

At a maternity clothes shop: We are open on Labor Day.

On a desk in a reception room: We shoot every 3rd salesman, and the 2nd one just left.

On a fence: Salesmen welcome. Dog food is expensive.

On a plumbing company's trucks: Don’t sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.

On a scientist's door: Gone Fission

On a taxidermist's window: We really know our stuff.

On an established dry cleaning store: Thirty-eight years on the same spot.

On the door of a computer store: Out for a quick byte.

Outside an antique shop: We buy junk and sell antiques.

Sign at the psychic's hotline: Don't call us, we'll call you.

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And my favourite (Patel & Co. Plumbing in London): You've tried the cowboys, now try the Indians.

Classic!

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